“After seeing you? My mood!”
Compliment anyone who could use an extra boost of confidence. This is a great reply for everyone in your life, from a friend to an acquaintance. It’s an especially effective answer if the person is shy or isn’t used to the attention. When they asked their question, they probably expected to hear about you. When you shine the spotlight on them, they’ll be pleasantly surprised. “Now that you’re talking to me? My happiness!” “With you in the room? My energy level!” “After learning you went to Spain? My curiosity!”
“I don’t have any complaints!”
Stay upbeat if you want to charm a stranger with your optimism. If you want to build rapport with someone or leave them with a wonderful first impression, be really cheerful and smile. This option is great if you’ve just met a person and they haven’t had a taste of your personality yet—they’ll instantly warm up to your great attitude. “I’m a happy camper! Life’s been treating me really well!” “Everything’s looking up! I’ve made a lot of progress lately.” “Nothing but good news on my end! I’m very grateful.”
“Hopefully not my rent!”
Get creative at a party and point out what you don’t want to go up. Since you can go in all kinds of directions when someone asks “wassup,” think about an answer that goes beyond “not much.” Impress a whole crowd with a clever one-liner and keep things fresh. “It better not be my cholesterol levels! I’ve been eating healthy…” “Not my student loans! I just have to keep making my payments.” “With any luck, not my grocery bill! I’m not buying name brands anymore!”
“In a perfect world? My salary!”
Make your bestie laugh with a sassy response. Turn their question into an opportunity to share a funny moment with each other. If you want to get extra goofy, throw in a silly facial expression like a wink. “If life was fair? My grades!" "My energy levels, if I had my way!" "In about a couple weeks? My PTO! Cancun, here I come!"
“How much time do you have?”
Play around with anyone easy to fool, like an unsuspecting relative. First, hint that you have a story to tell. Then, tease them for asking such an open-ended question. If you really do want to spill all the details of your life and you trust them, go for it! Otherwise, just pretend like you’re about to vent and then say you were just kidding. “Can you stick around for a bit? I’ll need at least twenty minutes…” “How long’s your attention span? I’m in the mood to overshare.” “Okay, let me tell you my life story! Just joking.”
“Our time on Earth…so let’s make the most of it!”
Shake things up and motivate whoever is talking to you. If they’re on autopilot and asking a basic question, see if you can inspire them and tell them to live every moment like it’s their last. Take the opportunity to spark a convo or help them get pumped up. “Our chances to waste another moment! Let’s go!” “Our opportunity to just wait around. Time for an adventure!” “Our time on this planet, in the long scheme of things. Think about the bigger picture!”
“Who paid you to ask me that?!”
Pretend to be suspicious to put on a show for your friends. Get really theatrical—look to your right and then to your left, as though someone were watching you. Lean in really close like you’re talking about a really sensitive subject. Finally, lower your voice and drop it to a whisper. Act as though you’re an important person who some outside force needs to keep tabs on. “Have the secret agents found me?! What have you told them?” “Hey, that’s not cool of you to ask! You know I’m on the run.” “I’m not sure how to answer that. Do you have a wire on you?!
“My hopes…because you swiped ‘right’ on me.”
Be really flirty if you want to spark up a romance with a new crush. If you matched on a dating app like Tinder or had a “meet cute” in person, win them over with some sweet words. They’ll be amazed with how you took a basic introduction and turned it into an opportunity to make them swoon. “My heart rate…now that you’re giving me the time of day!” “My pulse…your pics and your bio are so spellbinding!” “My level of attraction! Your IG hypnotized me.”
“When you ask that question? My anxiety levels!”
Make a joke about how awkward you feel with anyone you trust. If you two share a good connection but their question feels way too loaded at the moment, hint that it’s not a great time. Give a brief and funny answer to sidestep a potentially messy discussion. “My blood pressure! What a loaded question! Moving on…” ”Yikes! My discomfort! That’s way too hard to answer.” “My nervousness, ha! Let’s change the subject!”
“The opposite of down.”
Give a really literal answer to anyone who likes sarcasm. If you’d rather just move past their question and jump into an actual conversation, give a quick and sarcastic reply. You’ll probably get a chuckle out of them, and then you can both switch topics. “A two-letter preposition. You’re welcome for the grammar lesson!” “A super cute movie that made me cry. Check it out!” “Whatever’s above me!”
“Come on, you know that! The sky!”
Give a silly and obvious answer if they’re easily amused. This reply usually works best with anyone that hasn’t heard the joke before, like young kids. It’s also fine to use with family members that get a kick out of anything you’d say, such as grandparents who want to try out some new slang. “Birds, planes, and, on a good day, UFOs!” “Clouds! It’s super overcast today.” “A roof over our heads! Aren’t we so blessed?”
“Just working on this project!”
Be polite and let a peer know you’re busy. If someone in one of your classes reaches out but you have a lot of deadlines to think about, keep the conversation short. This answer is also helpful anytime that you’re not interested in chatting. “Papers! So many papers! I should probably turn off my phone.” “Lots of prep for my exams. I’ll catch you later!” “A big presentation tomorrow, that’s what! I’ve got to rehearse it tonight.”
“Not much, you?”
Keep it simple and give a buddy the go-to answer to their question. While you want to get extra creative with everyone else, you can relax a little with the people who’re closest to you. Your friends already know you’re witty and clever, so you can just be chill and share that not much is going on. Then, express interest in their lives. “Nothing new…what about you?” “All’s well. How about you?” “Same old, same old. Anything new in your world?”
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