- Provide tangible ways to help loved ones if they’re going through tough times. It can be as small as offering a ride or buying them a cup of coffee.
- Lend a listening ear to make them feel understood, but don’t offer unsolicited advice. Support them by acknowledging their words and validating their emotions.
- If your loved one isn’t super emotional, share a song or send them a light-hearted message to show your support.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Lend a helping hand if it looks like they’re struggling. Ask them if they need support, instead of simply stating, “Let me know if you need help.” A lot of people don’t ask for help because they don’t want to burden others. If your friend is going through a divorce or you think they might be depressed, offer specific things you can do to make their life a little easier–no matter how big or small the task. “How can I support you through this? I’m free tomorrow if you need me to pick up your son from school.” “Is there anything you need? I can drive you to campus if you need a ride.” “Do you have any errands I can run for you?” “What’s your schedule like tomorrow? I’m coming over to help.”
“If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”
Provide support by offering a listening ear. When someone is going through a tough situation, it’s easy for them to suppress emotion and invalidate their feelings. Instead of extending condolences, provide support by being a good listener, especially if your loved one is struggling with an illness. Validate their emotions, but remember to acknowledge what they’re saying instead of offering unsolicited advice. “Tell me how you feel.” “How are you really?” “Do you want to talk about it? I have plenty of time to listen.” “Give me the low-down on what happened.”
“If you need me, I’m here. And if you don’t need me, I’m still here.”
Let them know you’re available when they’re ready to open up. Even if you aren’t on the best terms with an ex-friend or ex-partner, take the initiative and reach out to them if they’re going through a rough patch. Acknowledge that your relationship isn’t the same as before, but remind them that you still care about their well-being. “I know things have been weird between us lately, but I wanted to let you know that I always have your back.” “Even though we’re not as close as we once were, I want you to know that I’m always here for you.” “I don’t care if we haven’t talked since last year. I'm here for you no matter what.”
“It’s okay not to be okay. I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
Normalize needing help if they’re extremely independent. Remind them that you’re offering support from a caring, non-judgmental place. Some people find it difficult to open up, so highlight that there’s no shame in accepting help or relying on other people. “Even the strongest people have bad days. I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on.” “It’s totally understandable to feel overwhelmed, given the situation. Please know I’m always here to help.” “I know you’re independent, but I really want to help you.” “I totally understand if you want to be alone right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m always here.”
“We’ll get through this together.”
Remind them that they can overcome anything, with you by their side. If your loved one can’t stop thinking about past mistakes or negative experiences, suggest various resources to help them move forward, and always be sure to follow up with them after the initial conversation. “I’m by your side, so let’s figure out a plan to get through this week.” “Let’s go over all the options we can take to improve the situation.” “Hear me out, I thought of a few ways we can remedy the situation.”
“I’m always down to FaceTime if you want to talk.”
Let them know they’re not alone, even if they don’t live nearby. If they aren’t with you in person, express that the distance doesn’t matter. Suggest that you’re willing to call, video chat, or book a trip to support them (if possible). Offering a lot of options makes it seem effortless to connect, despite the physical distance. “Even if we’re not in the same city, know that I’m always just a phone call away.” “I’m here for you through text, call, FaceTime, whatever you need.” “I’m driving over this weekend to help you.”
“Do you want to go for a drive?”
Plan a fun activity with them to get their mind off things. Actions speak louder than words, so show support for your loved one in tangible ways. Schedule fun activities to lift their spirits and help them overcome a difficult time, especially if they’re not as cheerful as usual. “Want some breakfast or coffee?” “Pick you up at 7 for dinner?” “I can help you get ready on Saturday. What time should I come over?” “Do you want to walk there together?”
“I’m here for you. Seriously, I have too much time on my hands.”
Send a silly message to make them smile. There’s nothing like a good laugh to make someone feel better! Many people use humor to numb their pain, especially if they’re dealing with health issues or a stressful family situation. Come up with a funny, creative text to let your loved one know you’re in their corner. “I know you’re handling this, but I’ve taken a day off to help you. Don’t waste my leave.” “Let me know if you need extra help. I’m bored, and you’d be doing me a favor.” “Crying session at 3 PM tomorrow? I feel like we’re both going through it right now.”
“You’ve got a friend in me.”
Send them a song if you can’t find the right words to express your support. If they’re not super emotional (and you feel awkward sending a deep text), share a song that lets them know how much you care. “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M. “Count on Me” by Bruno Mars “One Call Away” by Charlie Puth “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel
“Have you eaten today?”
Ask how they feel and check in on them regularly. Send them a sweet text throughout the day to let them know you care about their well-being. Reassure loved ones that they’re not a burden so they’re more inclined to reach out to you when they need help. “How have you been sleeping?” “How’s your day so far?” “Wanted to remind you not to skip lunch today :)” “Did you drink water?”
“I’m here for you.”
Let your loved ones know you’re there for them no matter what. Being there for someone is the most important and thoughtful form of expression. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone and let them know you’re thinking about them, even if you haven’t seen them in a while. “I wish I could find the right words, but know that I’m here for you in any way that you need me.” “I care about you, and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.” “I’m always here for you, no matter the time or place.” “Without hesitation, I’m always here.”
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