Every person in the society has got his or her own identity like daughter/son, brother/sister, friend, employee/employer, cousins, passenger, and commuter and so on.There are different roles in different situations that an individual has to play.In every situation that the individual is playing a role, it is the self that decides and determines the role and not the environment. But to perform the role in a proper and dignified manner, there are certain codes of conduct and a structure prescribed by the environment which every person has to follow.We keep changing or are made to change our roles in life. But when we change the roles does the self too change? Not at all! The self remains unchanged throughout. The self, or the deep rooted idea of ourselves decides how you play the role in a befitting manner. If a person is not playing his role effectively it is because the self is not strong enough, not powerful enough or not trained properly.If he or she if playing the role well, it means, he or she has a strong inner self.We have to learn, re-learn and un-learn many things and habits in life. Some of the well-known steps to be practiced are: 1) Positive Attitude: Do you generally have self-doubt about your capabilities? Positive thinking is a major tool which can help to alter the results and actually get positive results.It is always a fact that successful men are positive and positive men are successful.They deliberately feed their mind with positive and pure thoughts on a regular basis.They also work on improving the other 90% of their personality viz., ethics, motive, beliefs, values, judgments and character which is not visible to others.2) Gaining Emotionality Stability: In the famous book Meditation and Spiritual Life, the author Swami Yatiswarananda writes, (pg 234): ‘It must not be forgotten that the conflicts that appear in the outside world are only a manifestation of what is to be found within our own mind. It is a fact that just as our body is affected by poisons and disease germs, so also our mind suffers as a result of harmful emotions.We are our own greatest problem.’ How true! People tend to blame other people and the circumstances or things for whatever happens to their life. The greatest lesson in life is to remember that ‘changing the face’ can change nothing, but facing the change can change everything.3) Strength is Life: ‘Be bold when you lose and be calm when you win. Heated gold becomes ornaments, beaten copper becomes wires and depleted stones become statues. So, the more pain you get in life you become more valuable.’ Swami Vivekananda wanted everyone to combine what he called ‘Kshatriya Virya (courage of a valiant warrior) and Brahma Tejas’ (the brilliance of a pure mind).There is no substitute to a strong mind. It is strength born of purity and truthfulness which help one to make a difference in life. Just as mountains have valleys and peaks, life also has got its own share of ups and downs and successes and failures.They challenge the wise and the ignorant and the young and old. It is foolish to say that I would enjoy only the peaks and not the valleys.The wise and the strong look at the scenic beauty of both.When a person enjoys both success and failure then he has strong personality. His vision and thoughts inspire others also. Swami Vivekananda says, “What makes you weep, my friend? In you is all power.Summon up your all powerful nature, o mighty one and this whole universe will lie at your feet. It is the self alone that predominates and not matter”.We should keep looking at the lives and teachings of great men and try to emulate what they have said to us. Through their dynamic life they have taught mankind not to adjust to a false life, rather to ignite the inner fire and live a life of total fulfillment. It is like making the legendary Bhagirtha Prayatna (the effort of king Bhagiratha who is believed to have worked hard to bring the river Ganges from Himalayas to plains; a mighty endeavour!).One has to learn to make tough choices, because the growth is based on the decisions that are made and assert one’s self-worth and not degrade oneself. Because, those who are affirming their self-worth are less likely to feel helpless and feel more dynamic to influence events and life itself.(The writer is Director, Vivekananda Institute of Human Excellence, Ramakrishna Math, Hyderabad)
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