Doing the Prep Work
Get to know the team. A whole team will be working on your child's education, so it can help to get to know who will be there. You may only be able to familiarize yourself with their positions ahead of time, but that will help you navigate the meeting better. The team will usually include a regular education teacher, a special education teacher, someone from the school system who is familiar with the special education programs, someone knowledgeable in interpreting the evaluation results, and anyone else you invite who knows the child's abilities well, such as a daycare provider. Ahead of time, think about whether or not you want to bring anyone in particular. It can even just be a trusted friend who helps you take notes.
Note all the parts of the IEP ahead of time. The IEP has standard parts, and knowing those parts beforehand can help you handle the meeting better. Of course, it will have things about where your child is at right now, including the ways their disability affects them. It will also have goals for your kid. There'll also be info on what services your child will get, as well as how long each day your kid will be apart from nondisabled children. It will also lay out whether or not your child will be included in standardized assessments (the dreaded standardized tests), as well as how your kid's progress will be measured.
Gather information from those who can't be there. Evidence is always helpful when it comes to this type of meeting, so don't be afraid to back yourself up with some help. Even if certain people can't be at the meeting, you can still bring statements from them. For instance, if your child's doctor has something important to contribute, you can ask them to jot something down about it for you to take.
Review the evaluation. Before the meeting, your child will be evaluated to determine what help they need. You should be given access to this information, and it can be helpful to read this ahead of time. You may find that you disagree with certain parts, and that's important information to bring up at the meeting.
Be ready with goals. Part of the meeting will be setting goals for the year. You should think about that ahead of time so you can be ready to speak up when the time comes. Think about your child's abilities. What do you think they can do in the next year? What would you like to see them do? Try to be realistic. It might help to write down the goals to bring to the meeting.
Ask for an interpreter. If you don't speak English as a first language, the district will usually provide an interpreter for you. You must ask at least 3 days ahead of time, though, so don't be afraid to speak up. Call the school to request one.
Participating in the Meeting
Get the time and date. The school has to make it so you or your partner can attend, meaning that they must give you sufficient notice. If they don't, you can ask them to reschedule. Usually, the meeting will be held at your child's school.
Talk about what makes your kid unique. One of the big things that you contribute to the meeting is talking about what your kid can do. You know your kid better than anyone, and you can help focus the discussion both on the places your kid can do well and the places they need help growing. You can also talk about your kid's interests, as well as things that only you know about.
Bring up any disagreements you have with the evaluation. The evaluation is the professional assessment of your child. If you think something about the evaluation is wrong, you have a right to speak up. You may think that your kid has more ability than what was determined by the evaluation. On the other hand, you may think your child needs more help than what was established by the evaluation. Keep in mind, though, that school is likely to want some kind of support from you to back up your claims.
Advocate for adjustments to the IEP. Usually, you help create the IEP at the meeting. Sometimes, though, the school will have written out an IEP ahead of time. You may also be revising the IEP from the previous year. If you feel like something is wrong with it, let your voice be heard. You are your child's advocate. Also, don't be afraid to bring up suggestions about things you may want added to the IEP.
Ask questions. These meetings may get a bit jargon-heavy at times, and the other team members likely don't even realize they're doing it. It's fine to ask questions. You're not expected to know every single piece of terminology ahead of time.
Bringing Your Child
Advocate for your child to attend. Most schools suggest a child starts attending meetings at age 15 or 16. However, if you believe your child is able to understand what's going on at the meeting, it can be critical that they attend, even at a younger age. For instance, even upper elementary students may want to attend. They should be able to contribute to a conversation about their education. Some parents advocating for always bringing your child, as that gives all the evaluators a chance to see your child again. Some of them may have only had one interaction with your child. Also, having your child there helps to remind the team that their decisions affect an actual person. Most schools will be open to this idea, but you may need to sell some schools on it. Of course, you don't want to take your child kicking and screaming to the meeting. If they don't want to go, wait until the next year or whatever age they seem ready. Alternatively, maybe some kids just want to listen in the meeting and not speak up.
Discuss what's going to happen ahead of time. Talk to your child about why the meeting is happening. If they don't know they are receiving extra help, the meeting isn't the time to spring it on them. Also, you should talk about how the meetings usually go so that your kid has a good understanding ahead time of what will happen.
Focus on the goal-setting part of the meeting. The goal-setting part of meeting is a good place for your kid to offer some suggestions. You may need to exclude them from other parts of the meeting to discuss certain things. You can discuss the more sensitive information at the beginning of the meeting, then invite your child in for the goal-setting. That's a great place for kids to advocate for themselves and take control of their education. Your kid may also want to be there for accommodations, where they are talking about the help your child may need on tests. That way, your child can ask for what they need.
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