How to Overcome an Addiction to Porn As a Teenager

Understanding Your Addiction to Porn

Identify your symptoms. Is your use of porn relatively normal or getting into serious addiction territory? Look for these signs and symptoms to get a clearer sense of how much porn dominates your everyday life: You cannot stop watching porn or doing behaviors associated with porn, despite attempting to leave them behind. You feel angry or irritable if you are asked to stop using porn (even when you ask yourself). You keep all or part of your porn use secret from family and friends. You feel like you lead a double life because of your hidden porn use. You continue to view porn despite negative consequences, such as suffering relationships or trouble in school. You have lost track of large chunks of time because you've been absorbed in porn use.

Learn the unexamined effects of porn addiction. To better understand what you're going through, learn what could be at stake. It can be easy to convince yourself that everybody watches porn and that maybe you don't have a problem after all. Knowing the following potential effects of porn addiction shows you the real dangers of the problem: Broken or troubled intimate relationships Difficulty staying interested in relationships and dating prospects Feelings of shame and/or guilt Problems with work or school, like dropping grades High risk of engaging in dangerous or unhealthy sexual activity, with an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases Eventual inability to become aroused in non-pornographic situations

Avoid beating yourself up. Because the addiction involves lewd material, you might be tempted to think of yourself as impure, perverted, or morally in the wrong for having ever developed the problem in the first place. However, adding blame and guilt to the mix will only make it more difficult to find the confidence needed to resist temptation and throw yourself into other activities. Popular methods like pinching yourself every time you look at porn will create a forbidden fruit effect which makes it all the more difficult to give porn up. What’s more, you’ll come to have negative associations with your own sexuality, which can make getting to the root problems of the porn addiction more complicated.

Learn your triggers. A trigger is anything that makes you feel like you want to watch porn. A trigger could be a certain moment in your routine, like getting ready to go to sleep, or it could be a pop-up ad of a scantily clad actor. Knowing your triggers is important because you will learn when to ramp up your efforts not to watch. You can then replace watching with something that will successfully divert your attention until the urge goes away on its own. For example, if you see an ad that makes you want to watch porn, train yourself to play a round of your favorite video game instead. You may not be able to avoid the ad entirely, but you can begin to replace porn with a less harmful habit. After a while you may not need to take such strong efforts to avoid certain triggers or rigidly replace porn watching with the same alternative behavior every time. When you’re trying to kick the habit initially, though, be very diligent about diverting yourself in moments of temptation. If there are triggers you can avoid entirely, you may want to do so. This could make the initial decrease in use easier. Just be careful that you don’t spend so much time avoiding, say, certain music or friends that get you in the mood to watch. If you try to let these triggers back into your life after intense avoidance of them, you run the risk of relapsing into porn use.

Making Long-Term Changes

Slowly decrease use over time. As an alternative to stopping "cold turkey", you might decide to ease yourself into less or no porn use. Make goals for certain periods of time based on whether you want to stop watching altogether or become a more moderate viewer. Doing this will help the transition happen more smoothly, as you will only have to take on small behavioral challenges at a comfortable pace. For example, say your goal is to watch only 3 times per week. You could begin by cutting your use down to once a day at the times when you most want to watch, like before going to sleep.

Cut off your sources. Remove temptation to watch more often than your goal allows. It can be helpful to limit or cut off your access to the majority of sources of pornography. Here are some more specific ideas to use depending on your personal viewing habits: If you usually watch porn on DVDs, scratch them up with a pen or paperclip before throwing them away. If you use magazines, tear out individual pages and put them through a paper shredder or recycle bin. If you use the internet, try using a browser extension or other software that will help you limit the sites you can open. These Internet censors, like StayFocusd or Net Nanny act the way parental controls do—slowly you can block websites altogether, should you choose to. They also monitor the time you spend on chosen sites. If you use a PC, you can also block your frequently visited sites by editing your hosts file on a Windows system editing hosts file.

Set your environment straight. There are many things you can do to make sure that your environment is set up such that porn use becomes more difficult and less of a temptation. Start with your computer itself, or your phone if you also watch on that device. Clean up your computer by removing viruses and malware that give you lots of pornographic ads and pop-ups. Remember to also remove any files you have stored. Try eliminating the privacy that normally encourages you to watch by moving your whole computer set up to a common area of your home. This may only be a temporary measure as you are getting used to less porn. Your family might be surprised, but will understand if you let them know that you are attempting to limit your time isolated in your room. Avoid being with friends who share and encourage extreme use of porn.

Track your progress. Remember to give yourself enough praise and acknowledgment to feel supported and energized in the difficult times. Since overcoming addiction takes lots of time, effort, and usually slip-ups, getting an objective look at how far you’ve come will stop you from beating yourself up over moments of struggle. Try monitoring your usage with the same browser extension that you use to put controls on your access to porn. If you use DVDs or print media, keep track by marking use in a schedule or calendar.

Focus your attention elsewhere. Take up a new habit or hobby to replace the time you spend watching porn. If you let the time you would spend watching porn stay empty, it will be much harder to resist the temptation to watch.Try finding ways to fill the lulls in your life so that you no longer have time for porn. Adopt a hobby you've always wanted to take up, such as an art or team sport. You could also spend your time on self-improvement, whether it's reading, volunteering, or contributing to your life in some other way. Another consideration for choosing an activity is something that you can talk a lot about. Do something that you're proud to tell your parents and friends about, like getting into shape or learning how to play a musical instrument. If you don't drive, it can be helpful to get a bike or another form of transportation. This will give you freedom to leave the house and do things besides watching porn.

Reconnect with friends and peers. A great way to make sure that you stay engaged in new hobbies and activities is to do them with friends or people you like being around. This way you will be held socially accountable for sticking with the activity--not to mention the opportunity to bond with others over new things. When you are well connected to people who feed you, porn will become less of a pull and you'll remember that there are other fulfilling ways to spend time.

Getting Outside Help

Consider therapy. A mental health professional will be able to give you additional tools to cope with the difficulties of overcoming the addiction. If you decide to go see a therapist, you will not be judged or scolded for having a problem. As a matter of fact, the more honest you are about the details of your problem, the more your therapist will be able to help you. A major benefit of therapy is that you will get a chance to deal with pain from your past that may be contributing to the root cause of your addiction.

Ask for help from family members. Asking for help can be embarrassing, especially because of the nature of the addiction. But, asking for help really shows that you have the strength and capability of spotting and solving problems in your life. If you want to avoid describing the details of why you need help, ask to be referred to a therapist by saying something vague, like "I haven't been feeling like myself lately" or "I feel disconnected from everyone". If you do not feel comfortable asking your parents, try asking your school counselor or another trusted adult.

Ask your therapist or general physician if your addiction indicates a health issue. In some cases, an addiction to pornography can be the result of a hormone imbalance that ramps up your sex drive. If you feel like your compulsion to use is totally unaffected by all the steps you have taken to recover, you could have an underlying problem that a doctor can help you diagnose.

Look into teen-focused peer groups. Many other teens deal with porn addictions, and joining a support group will help you realize that you are not alone. This is especially important since the secrecy involved in porn addiction is one of the elements that keep the problem going strong. A group will help you be accountable for your goals and have a place to share stories, successes, and detailed coping tips. Try a local 12-step group for overcoming addictions; Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are both groups that welcome people with pornography addictions. There are also many online groups you can join if you are unable to attend in-person meetings.

Handle relapses delicately. It's understandable to be disappointed if you relapse into watching porn over and above the limits you set for yourself. Indeed, a relapse may be a sign that you need to be more focused on your coping skills and more serious about the lifestyle changes you make to fend off the addiction. But, make sure you don't spiral into excessive watching because of how unsuccessful you feel from having relapsed. Remember that the following are all signs of progress despite relapses: Low-severity relapses; for example, trying to look at porn on the Internet but then quickly turning it off rather than going on a major watching spree. Significant amount of passed time between relapses Strong ability to bounce back from a relapse by using the methods listed here and suggested by your therapist