Responding to “Hey” over Text
Say “hey” in return to gauge why they're messaging. When you’re unsure of how to respond, simply typing “hey” back to them is a good place to start. It puts them back on the hot seat and forces them to share something else with you. You can also use a slightly different version of “hey” to stand out. “Hi” or “hiya” “Hey there” “Heyyy”
Ask how their day is going. Use any genuine interest you have in the person texting you to see how they’re doing. See how they’re feeling today, what they’re up to, or what mood they’re in. This way, you can gauge where they’re at before getting into a conversation that may not suit either them or you. “How’s everything going?” “Keeping it all together today?”
Involve them in whatever you’re doing at the moment. Tell them what you’re up to at the exact moment they text you. If you’re at lunch, give them a run-down of what you’re eating or send them a quick picture of your meal. If you’re working on a project, let them know what it’s about. You may be relaxing and just watching the sunset, which they’d love to hear about (and see). “I’m having lunch at this amazing Thai place.” “I’m waiting in line for the best new club in town. Hope it’s worth it.”
Say you’re happy they got in touch with you. Showing them you’re so glad they texted you reveals that you’re interested in them on some level. It also opens up an opportunity for them to say something else about their current mood or situation. Gratitude is a thoughtful way to start a worthwhile conversation with someone you care about. "I'm so happy you texted!" "Yay! I've been thinking about texting you."
Ask about their latest social media posting. If you follow each other on social media, mention a past photo of theirs or ask them about a recent post. If they’re looking for a reason to talk to you, asking about their presence on social media gives them a good excuse to keep talking. You can also bring yourself into the chat by linking yourself to their photo or post. If they posted about a concert you also attended, you can share your thoughts on the show and the performer(s). “Great photo from your birthday party last week. It’s so awesome to see everyone together and having fun!” “I saw your post from the Taylor Swift concert last night. I was there too. Wasn’t it great?”
Send them an emoji. When you can’t figure out how to respond to “how are you” text with anything substantial, send them a unique combination of emojis. This lets them know how you’re feeling and how your day is going. “????????????” means you’re overworked. “????️????????” = a day at the beach.
Respond by sending them a photo or GIF. When you can’t think of the right words to say, send a photo of what you’re doing or a particular view you have. You can also pick a photo that represents your current emotional state or send a goofy GIF to get them laughing. They may respond with another photo or GIF until, sooner or later, you’ll both use actual words.
Poke fun at them for writing “hey.” Give them a lighthearted hard time about the fact that they only wrote “hey” to you. Ask them what they’re trying to say or push them to engage in actual conversation. Don’t be too harsh–you don’t want to offend them with your response either. “Hey… you wanted to tell me something or just like the word hey?” “Is hey a secret word that actually means something else in your crazy mind?”
Check in about any updates in their life. Ask them about how certain aspects of their life are going. If you know they’re taking exams at school, see how they fared. If they’ve told you about a family member’s current health problem, check in on how that person is doing. Whatever they may be going through, they’ll appreciate your thoughtful, kind response. “How did your final exams go? Did you ace every test?” “How is your mom doing after her surgery? Send her my best.”
Pique their interest with an unusual response. You don’t have to be logical when you respond to “hey” in a text. Be as out there as you want to be, if they know to expect that from you. This may mean you send a few lines from your favorite movie or poem or you bring up a funny in-joke told between you both a long time ago. A more unique response lets them know you took the time to respond in your own very special way. “As they said in Jaws, ‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat.’” “So, are you hiding out in your favorite ditch spot behind the school?”
Compliment them about something. Instead of asking how they are, immediately compliment their looks or personality. If you’re interested in them, this is a particularly effective way to show them. Take the time to be thankful for your favorite part of who they are, from their sense of humor to their adventurous spirit. “I’m so lucky to get a random text from such a good-looking guy/girl.” “Tell me a joke; you have the best sense of humor out of everyone I know.”
Be playful with them. When you respond to “how’s it going” or “hey,” it’s the perfect opportunity to get whimsical with each other. A playful text conversation can alleviate the boredom and repetition of a normal day. Speak in the voice of an alter ego or choose a language style you don’t often use in regular life. “This is the Lord/Lady of the manor here. I’m super relaxed in my posh mansion. How are you?” “How’s your lifelong dream of never waking up before 1 o’clock in the afternoon going?”
Respond that you can talk later. If it’s a bad time, but you really want to talk to them, just tell them that you can talk after work or after you’re done running errands. They’ll understand if you accompany your request with a smile or a joke, so they know you’re not trying to get rid of them. “Hey–stuck in traffic, but will get in touch as soon as I’m home????!” “I’m surrounded by customers at the shop. Give me a half-hour and I’ll hit you back.”
Responding to “Hey” in a Dating App
Say something as casual as “hey.” If you don’t know the person contacting you on a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, say “hey” back in another way. This helps to keep the pressure on them to say more. For instance, you can respond to “hey” from a girl or guy with hello in another language. “Hola, señor/señora” “Ciao, bello/bella” “Bonjour, belle/beau”
Ask them “what’s up?” or “how’s it going?” This is a pretty innocuous way to start a conversation with someone who’s reached out to you on a dating app. You’ll know where they stand pretty quickly if they start asking you about yourself or immediately send inappropriate responses. Then, you'd better know if you’re interested in continuing the conversation or not. “What’s happening in your neck of the woods?” “Hi there! How is life treating you?”
Respond with something sarcastic or funny. Using humor can ease any awkwardness in talking to someone new on a dating app. Even if you only offer a funny one-liner, it may put them at ease enough to speak more freely. When you respond to “hey” on Bumble in this way, you’ll both be exchanging jokes and making plans after too long. “It's hard to explain jokes to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally.” “What if Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?”
Answer them by name once you’ve checked out their profile. Show them you’ve been noticing them by addressing your response to “hey you” with their name or username. Using names can help spark a more involved conversation between the two of you. You may even learn more about them by looking at their profile before responding, which makes your words more sincere. “Hey Ted85, I like your taste in bands.” “It looks like me and KristyD have a lot of favorite foods in common.”
Send a flirty emoji or GIF. When you’re unsure if you’re interested yet, responding to “hey” on a dating app tells them you want to learn more about them, and that you like what you see. They may continue the emoji conversation or muster up enough courage to use words to express how you make them feel. “????????” “????????”
Respond with a pickup line. When you’re super interested in someone who says “hey” on a dating app, don’t waste time. Share a good pickup line that isn’t too forward, but gets your point across. If they don’t bite back, it means they weren’t interested in having a conversation anyway so no harm is done. “I need a map because I just got lost in your eyes” “What's your idea of the perfect date? I’ll make it happen.”
Ask questions about their profile. Show you’re interested in learning more about them by inquiring more about aspects of their dating profile. Ask them about where they grew up or went to school or about a particular hobby they love. Once they sense your interest, they’ll feel confident enough to share more about themselves with you and get a real conversation going. “How was going to school in San Francisco? I’ve always wanted to live there.” “I see you love going out for barbecue as much as I do.”
Express interest in talking to them. Even if you’re unsure of what to say, say that it’s really nice to hear from them. Let them know that contacting you–even with a “hey”–was a good idea. Hopefully your interest will keep the conversation going to welcome, unexpected places. “It’s so nice to hear from you. I’d love to chat some more” “I’m so glad you decided to say “hey.” I’ve been wanting to say “hey” to you for weeks.”
Get their attention with a clickbait statement. They got you to notice by saying “hey,” so why not get theirs in an equally bold way? Clickbait headlines get people to go read the story they’re trying to tell in a few words. Your version of clickbait may just involve a provocative statement that gets them typing back. “The one trick that works when you’re trying to get the guy/girl is… ” “A hot guy/girl just said “hey” to you on a dating app. You’ll never believe what happens next!”
Act surprised. Being humble can help the other person relax into the conversation. When they know you’re open to hearing from them, they’ll feel confident enough to share more about themselves with you. They will also know that you’re open to answering questions about yourself in the “getting to know you” online dating process. “Well, hello. How nice to see your face in the message queue.” “What an unexpectedly straightforward way to reach out. Can I reach back and know more?”
How to Respond to Hey When You Don’t Want the Conversation to Continue
Ignore the message. If you have no interest in speaking to the person, just don’t respond. It’s better not to give mixed signals in connection with talking to people you don’t want to communicate with. They may get in touch again or get frustrated or annoyed. Eventually, they’ll get the picture if you simply let their “hey” go answered.
Ask them what they want or need. Be polite when asking them what they might need. All you’re doing is trying to get to the bottom of what they’re looking for. If they have an actual question or idea they want to tell you, they’ll get to it. If they just want to ask for your help on moving day, they won’t get away with simply “hey.” “Is there anything you need?” “How can I help you?”
Respond that you’re busy. Explain to them that it’s not a good time to talk. You may be driving, busy at work, or dealing with a problem at home. Whatever the excuse (real or not), your response will show them that it’s pretty clear you can’t speak at the moment. Don’t overuse false excuses though, because you’re bound to run out of them at some point. “I’m really swamped right now. Sorry, it’s not a great time to chat.” “I can’t talk at all at the moment. Too much going on.”
Say “yes?” It may come across as a little sarcastic, but when you respond to “hey” or “hey how’s it going” with “yes,” it tells them that you don’t have time for them right now. Your response will force them to say what’s on their mind and quickly too. If it turns out they don’t have much to say, your “yes?” may cause the conversation to come to an abrupt end. “Yessss?” “Uh-huh?”
Express that you don’t feel like talking right now. They may contact you when you've got a lot on your mind or you need some alone time at the end of a busy week. You can mention the time by saying, "it's pretty early" or “it’s pretty late.” They should understand that you're not always in the mood to talk first thing in the morning or late at night. “Don’t mean to be rude, but I’m trying to relax after a really long day and want to be alone.” “Doing much-needed meditation, so can’t talk.”
Take a long time to respond. When you’d rather not talk to this person, try waiting a few hours (or a few days) to write back. This may help them realize that you’re not that interested in talking to them. At the very least, they’ll see that you’re too preoccupied with other things and may not wish to respond.
Respond with “leave me alone.” If someone is truly bothering you, it may be time to simply tell them to stop texting or messaging you. Even if you don’t want to be rude, this option may be the only one left if someone you have zero interest in speaking to is hounding you. They’ll hopefully get the picture and try sending “hey” to someone else. “Please don’t contact me anymore.” “I’d rather you leave me alone, please.”
Why do people send “hey” messages?
People send “hey” messages to play the field on dating apps. They may be interested in a variety of people they see on Tinder or Bumble and decide to send out many “heys” to see who responds. People often do the blanket “hey” message for friends in text or on professional apps like LinkedIn. Once you respond, they’ll then have definite proof of interest from you to continue the conversation.
“Hey” messages are often a result of feeling awkward. If someone you haven’t heard from in awhile isn’t sure how to best get in touch again, they may think starting with a “hey” is a good place to start. This is especially true if a lot of time has gone by and they don’t know where your relationship or friendship stands, or you didn’t part ways on good terms. They’re testing the waters to see if you’re receptive to communicating with them again.
Saying “hey” is another way of seeing if you can talk or chat. Texts or messages can be intrusive, especially if you don’t know each other yet. It’s far less invasive to start with “hey” than sending multiple long paragraphs when they’re unsure if you’re even able to chat yet. When you figure out how best to respond to “hey” and do so, it lets them know you’re available for further conversation.
Messaging FAQs
How do you flirt when someone says "hey"? What to respond to “hey” depends on how flirty you want to get. If you’re being coy, come back with a “hi,” “hello beautiful/handsome” or “heyyyyy” (the cuter version of “hey”). You can try a pickup line you think might work, or just send a flirty emoji to show them you’re just as interested in them as they are in you.
What do you reply after "hi"? If someone hits you up with a “hi,” try asking them how their day is going. Comment on anything from the weather to current events to get a proper conversation going. Let them know how happy you are to hear from them or try making them laugh with a funny anecdote they’ll enjoy.
What if a girl says "heyyy”? If a girl says “heyyy,” it could be a playful way of saying she likes you. She wants to get to know you better and start a conversation with you. The misspelling of “hey” is sometimes a way to be cutesy, but don’t think too much about it. It could just be that she wants to say “hello” and typed in the wrong spelling.
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