What is the “Girlfriend Effect”?

“Girlfriend Effect” Meaning

The “girlfriend effect” is the theory that a man becomes more attractive after getting a girlfriend. It essentially suggests that a man developes a better sense of style, gives off a more attractive aura, and experiences a "glow-up" in general once he's gotten into a relationship with a woman.

What is the “girlfriend effect” trend on TikTok?

The trend involves posting photos of men before and after meeting their girlfriends. The photos usually show a noticeable improvement in the men’s confidence, sense of style, and overall attractiveness as a result of entering into their relationship. Sometimes, the men themselves participate in the trend (like this post from TikTok user @gabesco), and other times, the girlfriends share these posts to show off the positive effect they had on their partner’s style (like this post from TikTok user @yzelle).

The term emerged as a response to the “boyfriend air” trend. In 2023, women started posting on TikTok about how they felt less attractive after hanging out with their boyfriends, and they dubbed this the “boyfriend air” phenomenon. Some TikTok users then began to comment that the opposite seemed to be true for men—they looked more attractive after spending time with their girlfriends. Videos then started popping up aiming to prove the “girlfriend effect” theory with photos of men’s glow-ups after getting into relationships. Because of this connection, the “girlfriend effect” is also sometimes referred to as the “girlfriend air” theory.

Is the “girlfriend effect” real?

It is possible that a man’s style could change after getting a girlfriend. When two people get into a relationship, they naturally want to appear attractive to each other. As a result, if a man’s girlfriend mentions a few ways he can spruce up his style, he’s likely to give them a try. There’s even some research that suggests that we become more similar to our partners over time. So, if a man who doesn’t really care about style gets into a relationship with a girl who loves fashion, he may start to become more interested in it himself.

Criticisms of the “Girlfriend Effect”

Some have criticized the trend for suppressing men’s individual styles. Although many men and their girlfriends have posted about the “girlfriend effect” in a positive way, critics point out that many of these posts show a man abandoning his own sense of style in order to adopt a more generic or trendy look. These critics suggest that the “girlfriend effect” is a negative thing that ends up taking away the man’s individuality and limits his freedom to express himself. Though these criticisms are valid, some men who participated in the trend have mentioned that they didn’t feel confident in their fashion sense before, so they view their girlfriend’s input as a positive thing.​​

Others argue that the outfits in the “before” pictures used to be fashionable. These critics suggest that the “improvement” in the man’s style isn’t due to the fact that he got a girlfriend—he simply ditched trends from the past as they went out of style, and adopted new trends as they emerged. Critics have also mentioned that some of the men got older over several years of being in their relationships, which also contributed to them looking more confident and self-assured in the "after" photos.