When is the f-word appropriate?
In some informal situations, adults can use the f-word. Although there are no hard lines or consensus on a certain age, generally, it’s inappropriate for children (under 13) to ever use the f-word. Teenagers may use it among themselves, but keep it out of school, the workplace, and family dinners. Using the f-word might get you in serious trouble if you choose to use it while still under 18 (especially in schools or official gatherings).
For adults, the f-word is unacceptable in professional settings. Whenever professionalism is expected, steer clear of the f-word. Whether you’re in a meeting or talking to someone you have a formal relationship with, it’s best to not swear at all. Using the f-word to swear at someone is incredibly rude. Unless you want to burn some bridges, keep “F*** you” out of your vocabulary. You can generally use the f-word in ultra-casual places like bars, locker rooms, and house parties. If people are intoxicated, that means you’re in an informal setting.
If other people use it, you can often use it around them. If you’re not sure if you can use the word or not, let other people set the tone. If you’re talking with someone who curses a lot, there’s a good chance that you’re in the clear to throw a couple of “F***s” in the mix.
Sometimes, you can use the f-word to create a bond with someone. Since swearing is a more casual way of speaking, using the f-word can show people that you’re comfortable around them. Since the pandemic, there’s been an uptick in people using the f-word in the workplace, perhaps because Zoom meetings make it more difficult to connect with people. This is a tricky situation because it’s hard to know how someone else feels about swearing. If you’re in a position of authority over someone, you can relax your relationship by cursing. However, you should still never curse at another person.
The F-Word in Speech
F***ing. To use the f-word as an adjective, say “f***ing.” The meaning intended might be positive or negative depending on the context, body language, and face expressions (if applicable). Examples: "What a F-ing party!"/"XYZ is doing all the F-ing work!" It can also be used to add emphasis, like the word "very": That party was f***ing amazing. I can’t f***ing believe it! You are so f***ing good to me, I love you, bro. If you don’t think you’re in a situation where you can swear, you can also substitute it with “freaking.”
F***ed This usage describes a bad situation. If you’re using it to talk about yourself (“I’m f***ed), it means you’re in trouble. If you’re talking about a thing, then it means it’s messed up. I didn’t know our reports were due today. I’m so f***ed! They fired you for wearing that silly tie again? That’s f***ed. Yeah, the contractor just called me back. They said my ceiling is totally f***ed.
F*** that This means that you don’t like something or don’t want to do something. You can also say f*** [whatever you don’t like]. F*** work. I’m going swimming. F*** that, man. That’s f***ed up. 5-hour wait times? F*** that, let's do something else.
F*** this People say “f*** this” right before they’re about to give up or when they don’t want to do something anymore. F*** this, let’s just call a mechanic. F*** this, I quit.
Give a f*** If you give a f***, that means you care about something. If you don’t give a f***, then you don’t care. Sometimes it feels like you don’t give a f*** about me. I’m mad because I give a f*** about the world. We have to do something. It doesn’t matter. I don’t give a f*** anymore.
What/who/why the f***? Using the f-word this way means you’re confused (and often angry) about something. When you see something that you can’t understand or explain, you might say, “What the f***???” Who the f*** brought their dog to the party? You dropped my TV? Why the f*** were you picking it up? What the f***, man? What are you doing?
F*** all If you have f*** all, then you have nothing—that’s that. She left me with f*** all. Go fish, dude. I have f*** all. They think we have f*** all for brains, that’s why we have to keep getting out there and showing them what we’re made of.
F*** off This usage has two meanings: either you’re wasting time, or you’re (rudely) telling someone to go away. You can use f*** off in a joking way to your friends without being mean-spirited, but be careful if you decide to say this phrase. You’re on vacation? Let’s go f*** off somewhere nice. F*** off dude, I’m having a bad day. F*** off, I am not into Mrs. Robinson.
F*** it F*** it means: “All right, I’m going to do it anyway.” People say it right before doing something that they’re afraid of or really think they shouldn’t do. Skydiving? F*** it, I’ll get over my fear of heights on the ride up. F*** it man, let’s just move in together…start a family somewhere!
F***(ed) up When you “f*** up,” it means that you’ve made a mistake. Being “f***ed up” means that you’re very hurt or intoxicated. If something is “f***ed up” it’s shocking or horrible. I know I f***ed up, could you ever forgive me? That car accident left me f***ed up. I was on crutches for a year. And then they fed chicken salad to the chickens? That’s f***ed up…
F*** yes/no Adding the f-word to “yes” or “no” makes it more extreme. You’re either totally on board with something or totally against it. Did you hear that the city is finally going to fix our sidewalk?F*** yes, dude! Do you want to go out tonight?F*** no, everyone’s sick right now.
Holy f*** Holy f*** is sort of like OMG. It means you’re amazed or afraid—as if you saw something you didn’t think was possible. Holy f***…aliens are real. Holy f***! You scared the blue blazes out of me.
F*** with If you f*** with something, that means you really like it. If someone’s f***ing with you, that means they’re tricking or bothering you. What’s the name of this song? I really f*** with it. You got us Troy Sivan tickets? You better not be f***ing with me right now.
As f*** As f***, often shortened to “AF,” means extremely. It’s usually used to emphasize an adjective, similarly to "f***ing." This party is fun as f***. That pie was good AF. What did you put in it? I don’t feel like going out. I’m sad as f*** right now.
F*** The f-word by itself is an interjection that can be used just about anywhere. Usually, it’s used to express some negative feeling or frustration. F***, I forgot. F*********** this traffic is so sloooooow. Oh f***! You scared me. F***! My phone just died. F***, that is so sad. F***, I love my job.
Using the F-Word
Provide comic relief in relaxed, casual, and private conversations. If the conversation is too serious and you want to drive it back to a more relaxed one, you can use expressions containing the f-word sparsely. For example: "Man, that's f***ing deep!"
Express feelings of excitement or ecstasy. Some people insert the f-word within certain expressive words to add humorous improvisation. Fan-f***ing-tastic! (Fantastic) Abso-f***ing-lutely! (Absolutely) In-f***ing-credible! (Incredible) A-f***ing-tonishing! (Astonishing)
Express disapproval. You can use the f-word to show approval indirectly by adding it to something sarcastic. I f***ing love it when people accuse me of things like this. What? It’s going to rain during the party? Well isn’t that just f***ing perfect.
Use it as an adjective to describe strong approval. In some social situations, this might be accepted or even welcome. However, this usually needs to be accompanied by facial expressions so as not to be misunderstood for the previous usage. Are you joking? I f***ing love soup!
Origins of the F-Word
The f-word may have originally meant “to strike”. The origins of the f-word are murky at best—it may come from French, English, German, or Latin, and it could’ve meant to strike, move back and forth, or the nouns soldier or fist. While the f-word now has a sexual connotation, it may have come from alternative spellings of other words, such as “fulcher”—an Old English word for soldier.
One historian believes the first sexual usage was in 1310. Dr. Paul Boothe of Keele University found the surname “F***ebythenavele” in a 1310 court document. It’s assumed that this was a nickname making fun of the man for not knowing how to have sex or that he was generally not very smart.
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