New Delhi: Without getting into rhetoric about Indian metros not being safe for women any longer, there is only that much that can be done about eve teasing, molestation and rape at the mass level. You cannot force-feed them a pill to make them stop. Before we take on the mob or the perpetrators, efforts have to be made at an individual level more with the intention of keeping safe. Cure will come later, but before that perhaps we need to look at prevention.
Having lived with people who have survived safely in one of the most notorious metros of the world, here are some commonsensical tips and suggestions gleaned from friends, colleagues and experts.
1. Don’t talk to strangers, or at least don't be stupid about it. With more people working and social networking, your chances of meeting nice and not-so-nice new ‘friends’ are manifold. No matter how enticing the profile, how charming the smile and how friendly the invite, please take your time in sharing personal details with strangers or worse, inviting them over. For the first few meetings at least, keep it public.
2. If you are outnumbered, run and don’t try to be a superhero. It’s common sense to save your skin, not cowardice. Running away can keep you safe, taking them on might get you beaten up and molested.
3. Know when to keep your mouth shut and when to take on a bully/ tease. No matter what the provocation, however nasty the things being said to you, if there are four of them and even two of you, walk away. Even if there is a crowd, don’t count on them to help you, chances are you’d have an audience but no help.
4. Keep your phone handy and not tucked away in your handbag clutter. Also, if you can remember your beauty parlour number, it’s advisable to remember some emergency numbers as well, like 100. Please do find out your city code when dialing from mobile phones.
5. Be aware of things and people around you when in a public transport. Most bag-snatchings, groping and following-girls-to-houses happens because women sit lost in la-la land when in an auto/cycle rickshaw.
6. Your autorickshaw/ cab driver is not your friend. Politeness and ‘sweet person’ is all fine, but try not give out your phone number and address details. When in an auto/cab, be aware if your driver uses his mobile phone. If you are uncomfortable, just ask him to stop.
7. Keep to the center of the road if you commute through deserted patches. If in an auto/cab, don’t let him stray onto the bushes etc. If your transport stalls in lonely patches, get out and stand where you can be seen. Keep your phone handy.
8. Wear a jacket/overcoat over your outfit when going to a club/party, please . Most places you will cross a parking lot/public area, it is common sense to not do it in a mini skirt. Ditto for when traveling alone or even if it’s two girls in a public transport.
9. Please suffer a night of boredom and either don’t go or go with someone you trustIf you are being invited to a house/unknown place where you might not know people. Invasion of privacy, understanding a ‘no’ and upbringing can all go for a toss when you put alcohol and men together. If it’s drugs, you really don’t want to be there.
10. Don’t lead the man/ men on and then scream molestation. Women do it frequently where they lead the man/men on – through gestures, dance floor moves, looks, raunchy SMSes, special attention, adulation, whatever – and then cannot handle the heat when the man/men want more. If you are not up for play, please don’t pretend to be. It is not cool, it’s stupid.
These incidents unfortunately are rising, but if there are ways in which we can prevent them or reduce the frequency, then we should be trying those out.
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