Hilarious Ghost Jokes
Prove that you’re too ghoul for school with a funny ghost joke. Have all your friends laughing ‘til they’re coffin with a hilarious ghost joke! Be sure to pause for dramatic effect so your punchline lands well. Here are some of our favorites: Where do ghosts go trick-or-treating? Dead ends. Why are ghosts bad at lying? Everyone can see right through them. What do you call a ghost after a ski accident? A hobblin’ goblin. When do ghosts drink their first cup of coffee? First thing in the moan-ing. Why was the ghost mad at her spouse? He was dead wrong. Why didn’t the ghost eat his lunch? He didn’t have the stomach for it. What do ghosts do during sleepovers? Tell scary human stories. Why did the ghost argue his point so passionately? Because he was dead sure he was correct. How do you talk to Italian ghosts? With a Luigi board. What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans. What do ghosts use to mend the hole in their sheet? A pumpkin patch. How does the ghost of Adele scare people? She sneaks up on them and says hello from the other side. What do you call a holiday gift when it dies? The ghost of Christmas present. Where do ghosts play golf? On a golf corpse. Where do ghosts live? They don’t.
Silly Ghost Jokes
Keep spirits high with a silly ghost joke. There’s no need to take yourself seriously when making a joke—that defeats the purpose! Embrace your silly side by telling your favorite cheesy jokes. It’ll likely put everyone in a better mood. Here are some examples: How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways. How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo. What do you call a ghost in the fireplace? A toasty ghosty. Where do ghosts buy food? At the ghost-ery store. When are ghosts the scariest? On Fright-days. Why did the ghost go nuts on Black Friday? He’s a bargain haunter. What room does a ghost not need? A living room. What’s a pirate ghost’s favorite beverage? Boo-tea. Which ghost won the dance competition? The Boogie Man. What noise do ghosts make when they’re sad? Boo-hoo. What do ghosts use to style their hair? Scare-spray. Why do football teams like to recruit ghosts? For team spirit. What did the haunted hotel owner say to the noisy spirit? Ghostay somewhere else. What do ghosts use so they don’t get sunburnt? Sunscream. Why is the letter G so scary? It can turn a host into a ghost.
Funny Ghost Puns
Make a spooktacular pun to impress your friends. As the saying goes, “A pun is the lowest form of humor—unless you thought of it yourself.” Making a good pun requires you to be quick on your feet and have a good understanding of wordplay, so be proud of your joke (even if others act like they hate it). Here are some examples: How did the ghost make her eyes pop? Ma-scare-a. Why do ghosts diet? So they can maintain their ghoulish figures. What position does a ghost play on the soccer field? Ghoul-keeper. How did the ghost stay so fit? By exorcising every day. What kind of horses do ghosts ride? Night-mares. What’s a ghost’s favorite Shakespeare play? Romeo and Ghouliet. What do you call a ghost without any feet? A lost sole. What do you call it when a ghost team wins all their games? A winning shriek. What’s a ghost’s favorite beverage? Ghoul Aid. What does a ghost put on its bagel? Scream cheese. What do you call a gang of ghosts? A hauntourage. What’s a ghost’s favorite bedtime story? Little Boo Peep. What’s a ghost’s favorite movie genre? Seance-fiction. How do ghost kids get to school? The ghoul bus. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
Dad Jokes About Ghosts
Make everyone roll their eyes with a good, old-fashioned dad joke. Dad jokes are known for being cheesy and overused, but that’s what makes them so fun! Whether you’re an actual dad or not, try out one of these dad jokes the next time you’re with your friends or family: Why didn’t the ghost go to prom? He had no body to go with. Why do ghosts ride elevators? It raises their spirits. Where did the ghost go on vacation? The Boo-hamas. Why did the outdoorsy ghost get in trouble with the law? He didn’t have a haunting license. What do you do when a carload of ghosts pulls up to your house? You hope that it’s Halloween. Why do ghosts get along so well with demons? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend. What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop. Why couldn’t the ghost unfurl the sails on the ship? He came across a dead knot. What did the ghost mom say to the ghost kid? It’s tough being apparent. Why do cemeteries have fences? Because people are dying to get in. What do you call it when a ghost farts? It passed ghast. What do health-conscious ghosts use to move around? They ride boocycles. Why did the robot turn into a ghost? He couldn’t rust in peace. What do ghosts like on their pizzas? Tomb-ato and cheese. What kind of music do ghosts love? Soul music.
Ghost Jokes for Kids
Make sure your ghost jokes are age-appropriate. When telling jokes to kids, consider their age range to make sure they’ll understand the punchline. Little kids will get a kick out of simple jokes, while older kids may enjoy jokes that are more complex. Here are some of our favorite kid-friendly jokes: What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Keep your eyes on the board while I go through it again. What do ghosts eat with meatballs? Spook-etti. What’s a ghost’s favorite treat? I scream. Why was the ghost kid embarrassed? He had a boo-ger. What old-fashioned advice do ghosts give their kids? Only spook when spoken to. Where did the ghost go to pick up mail? The ghost office. What’s a ghost’s favorite pie? Boo-berry. What does a ghost panda eat? Bam-boo. What game do little ghosts love to play? Hide and shriek. Who did the ghost go to the dance with? His ghoul-friend. What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo. Where do baby ghosts go when their parents are at work? Day scare. Why did the ghost go to the doctor? To get a boo-ster shot. What do you call a great dane who hunts ghosts underwater? Scuba Doo. What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like most? Sheet cake.
Ghost Jokes for Adults
Save your more mature ghost jokes for an adult audience. While most ghost jokes are family-friendly, some involve adult humor or will simply go over kids’ heads. If you have a joke that may be inappropriate, it’s best to save it for when no kids are around. Here are some examples: Who did the ghost bring to the party? Just some old fling he dug up. What did the ghost order at the saloon? Boos. What did the ghost say when it woke up with a bad hangover? “Man, I really need to lay off the boos.” What happened when the ghost couldn’t make it to the bathroom? He sheet himself. How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost? Booooobs. Why don’t monsters eat ghosts? Because they taste like sheet. How do ghosts get drunk? They drink spirits. Who was the most frustrated ghost ever? The one that haunted Helen Keller’s house. What did the ghost say as he coughed up fog? “Don’t worry, guys. It’s just miasma.” What do you call Viagra for ghosts? Specter erector. Why do ghosts make the best lawyers? Because possession is nine-tenths of the law. Why did the ghost go to jail? He got arrested for possession. Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a haunted house? Because the ghosts will bring the boos. Why do Scotsmen make good ghost hunters? Because after they enter a house, there’ll be no spirits left. What did the ghost say to his friends when they arrived at the bar? “Let’s get sheet-faced.”
Corny Ghost Jokes
Don’t be afraid to get a little cheesy. Let’s face it—a lot of jokes are corny. But that’s part of the appeal! Your friends may groan or roll their eyes, but they probably secretly wish they’d thought of the joke first. Here are some of our favorite corny jokes: Where do stylish ghosts go shopping? Boo-tiques. What do you say when you catch a ghost? I got you, boo! How does a ghost unlock a door? Using a spoo-key. Why does a ghost hate getting caught in the rain? It dampens their spirits. How do ghosts prefer their eggs? Terri-fried. Where is the ghost family planning their annual reunion? Lake Eerie. What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Fasten your sheet belt. What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases. What kind of car does a ghost drive? A Boogatti. How does a ghost plan its day? It makes a to-boo list. Did you hear about the ghost ship? I heard they were only working with a skeleton crew. Why did the chicken’s ghost cross the road? To come from the other side. Where do ghosts live? Boo York. What airline do ghosts use? Spirit. What’s a ghost’s favorite motto? Eat, shriek, and be scary.
Ghost Joke One-Liners
Keep your ghost jokes short and sweet. While long-form jokes can be hilarious, some of the best are concise and to the point. As the name suggests, one-liners are jokes that are told in a single line rather than a question-and-answer format. Be sure to practice your delivery to make sure your joke really lands. Here are some examples: A ghost got lost in the fog. Oh well, he is mist. Ghosts are really into astrology. They read their horror-scopes every day. A ghost walks into a bar at 12:30 A.M., but the bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve spirits after midnight.” I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door. I once told a bad joke about ghosts. It still haunts me to this day. Just bought a boomerang from a ghost. Now I’m worried that this is going to come back to haunt me. I woke up at 3 A.M. to see the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid… I told my priest I was being haunted by an overweight ghost. He said I needed to exorcise more. A ghost may try to deceive you, but don’t worry. You’ll be able to see right through them. I don’t believe in ghosts. I think if they were real, they’d be more transparent about it. Graveyards are really noisy. Must be because of all the coffin. The ghost gave up on his dream of being a comedian. He was always getting booed. There has never been a ghost sighting in Finland. No one who died there had un-Finnish-ed business. A ghost orders a burger at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “Do you want frights with that?” I had a priest exorcise my haunted car, but refused to pay. A week later, it was repossessed.
Ghost Pick-Up Lines
Find a ghoulfriend by using a spooky pick-up line. If you’re interested in someone who loves Halloween or the paranormal, sweep them off their feet by using a ghostly pick-up line. Deliver your line with confidence; if they’re the right person for you, they’ll appreciate your sense of humor! Here are some examples: Are you a ghost? Because you look like my boo. Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams. Are you a ghost? Because you sure are boo-tiful. Do you believe in ghosts? Because I can take you to another dimension. I’d go through anything for you, including walls. I’m not going as a ghost for Halloween, but you can still get under my sheets. If I could rearrange the cemetery, I’d put boo and I together. Your grave or mine? You don’t need Halloween because you look like a treat every day. Are you a ghost? Because I can see right through you, and it’s obvious you want me. What’s a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this? Read me like a Ouija board. I’ll get your heart racing faster than a haunted house. Even on Halloween, I promise I won’t ghost you. How you boo-in’?
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