Pros of Dating Apps
Convenience Dating apps bring the dating world to the palm of your hand—with just a few taps on your phone, you can scroll through a list of potential matches no matter where you are. With such a time-saving formula, it’s easy to swipe your way through different matches as you search for the perfect fit.
Helpful matching Nearly all dating apps have some sort of tool or algorithm that connects you with potential dates. While certain apps have a more detailed system in place than others, it’s nice to have a pre-made list of matches at the ready regardless.
Built-in chat function Most dating apps feature some sort of built-in chat, which makes it easy to talk with potential matches and see how well you vibe together. Dating coach Maria Avgitidis notes, however, that “online dating should be used as a tool to get things offline. Your conversation shouldn’t turn into a pen pal correspondence.”
Sense of security There’s a sense of safety in knowing that your dating interactions (at least in the beginning) are happening in a digital space. You don’t need to worry about anything sketchy or weird happening, like you might for an in-person meet-up.
Sense of control Dating apps help push back against archaic societal standards, like women waiting to be asked out. With online dating, you have more freedom to send the first message, regardless of your gender identity.
Cons of Dating Apps
Emphasis on physical chemistry Many dating apps operate with users scrolling or otherwise swiping through potential matches. As people go through these matches, their decisions are often rooted in physical chemistry rather than other qualities the person has to offer.
High competition Using dating apps can feel very competitive, or like you have to present yourself as “better” than other users on the platform. The constant feeling of needing to outdo other people’s profiles can make for an unpleasant experience on a dating app.
Short-term relationships With so many people signed up for dating apps (and so many potential matches at one’s fingertips), people are more willing to give up on relationships early on. Some people have gone as far as calling dating apps “addictive,” since the plentiful array of matches leads users to endlessly search for their perfect person.
Potential harassment Unfortunately, some people refuse to accept others’ boundaries, even in a digital space. Research shows that many dating app users received additional messages from people they already turned down. This disrespectful behavior can be potentially chalked up to the anonymous, casual nature of online dating.
Scams and bot accounts Dating apps have become infamous for platforming plenty of scams and bot accounts (accounts manned by a machine rather than a real person). Dating app users often need to “screen” their matches to make sure they’re legitimate people looking for love, which is a frustrating obstacle.
Popular Dating Apps
Bumble Bumble is a dating app where women have 1 day (after matching with someone) to send the first DM to a guy. In queer matches, both parties have 1 day to send a DM after matching. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: Starting at $20 per month Best for: Women who want control over their online dating experience
CoffeeMeetsBagel CoffeeMeetsBagel is a dating app geared toward people looking for a long-term relationship rather than a short-term hook-up. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $35 per month Best for: Anyone looking for a long-term partner
eHarmony eHarmony uses in-depth questionnaires to figure out which matches you’re most compatible with. eHarmony users are typically looking for long-term partnerships rather than a casual fling. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $65.90 Best for: Anyone seeking a long-term relationship
Facebook Dating Facebook Dating uses information from your Facebook profile (like your group memberships and upcoming events) and helps match you with people who share related interests. Your Facebook Dating profile is separate from your regular Facebook profile. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: N/A - the platform is free Best for: Casual daters who want a budget-friendly alternative to other dating apps
Happn Happn is a location-based dating app that highlights the people you physically pass during the day as potential matches. Within the app, users can send a “Crush” to someone they like and see if they get one in return. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $25 per month Best for: Daters who want a fun twist on the typical dating app experience
Her Her is a sapphic dating app designed specifically for people who identify as lesbian or fall under the queer umbrella (e.g., bisexual, pansexual, trans, non-binary, asexual, etc.). Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $15 per month Best for: Queer individuals who want an exclusively sapphic dating space
Hinge Hinge uses a special matching algorithm to connect users with compatible dates. The app’s goal is to create long-term matches, seeing as their catchphrase is “the dating app designed to be deleted.” Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $33 per month Best for: Anyone looking for a compatible, long-lasting relationship
Match Match connects users with potential matches using personalized dating profiles that include a user’s pictures, personal preferences, and some free-response answers. Originally created in 1995, Match is one of the oldest online dating platforms out there. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $20 per month Best for: People looking for serious relationships on a trusted platform
OkCupid OkCupid has new users answer questions to get a feel for their priorities and preferences. Using these answers, OkCupid connects new users with potential matches. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $15 per month Best for: People looking for a free but effective dating app
Plenty of Fish Plenty of Fish uses a swiping and super-liking system to help connect potentially compatible matches (similar to platforms like Tinder). Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $30 per month Best for: People looking for casual matches that could potentially lead to more
Tinder A mainstay in the world of dating apps, Tinder is known for its casual atmosphere and profile-swiping system. Can you join for free? Yes Premium membership cost: $8 per month Best for: People looking for something casual or low-key
Alternatives to Online Dating
Participate in a club, sports team, or activity group. Joining a new club or group accomplishes two things at once: it gives you something interesting to do in your free time while also connecting you with people who share the same interests. While you shouldn’t join new groups with sole purpose of landing a date, they’re still a great way to broaden your social horizons. Websites like Meetup are great for finding local clubs and events related to your interests.
Attend a speed dating event. Speed dating events are just what they sound like—fast-paced events where prospective singles quickly meet and chat with a variety of other prospective singles. Hit the web to find speed dating events that are going on in your area; chances are, you’ll be able to find some in your nearest city. While speed dating events are often geared toward heterosexual relationships, there are definitely queer events out there, too.
Ask your friends for a hook-up. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a shot in the dark and asking a friend if they know any prospective singles. Worst case scenario, your friend doesn’t know anyone; best case scenario, you land yourself a date. Either way, it can be a handy (and efficient) way to meet someone without the help of a dating app.
Be on the lookout for random opportunities. When you’re out and about, be on the lookout for the little things you may have in common with the people around you. Maybe the girl in front of you is wearing the jersey of your favorite sports team, or maybe a guy is walking a dog who looks just like your parent’s pooch. Take these opportunities to approach and strike up a conversation. You never know where things could go if you don’t take the first step! Proximity can also be a helpful wingman. For instance, maybe you run into the same person when you take the bus into the city, or you pass the same girl twice at your local pizza place. Always try to read the room when you start chatting with a stranger. If they seem disinterested in the conversation, take a step back and leave them alone. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you put yourself out there!
Key Takeaways
Feel free to give online dating a try, but don’t be afraid to branch out. Online dating undoubtedly has its perks: dating becomes immensely simpler and more convenient when it can be managed in a phone app. Still, online dating apps do tend to put a lot of emphasis on physical chemistry, and can feel unfairly competitive at times. Check out the dating apps we reviewed above and see if any appeal to you. If not, no worries—there are plenty of other ways to connect with potential matches, like: Clubs, sports, and social groups Speed dating events Friend-organized hook-ups Tip: Not sure which dating app is best for you? Check out wikiHow’s Which Dating App Should I Use Quiz to take a closer look.
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