How to Win Bullshit

Be Honest, If it's 9's to you, and you play 4's, even though you have some 9's, you've just created a potential crisis for yourself, which you could have easily avoided by simply telling the truth. Of course, it's not always possible to tell the truth, but when it is possible, you should do it.

Arrange your cards, not from A to K, but in the order that the various values are going to come to you. For example, if you're playing with three people, count from A to K in your mind, accenting every third number: "A 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 J Q K A 2 3..." and so on. the bolded numbers are the ones that you're supposed to play, and the other two are the ones that your opponents play. It's easy to see that the cards will come to you in this order: A 4 7 10 K 3 6 9 Q 2 5 8 J, then back to A.

With different numbers of players, of course, the sequence is different. For example, four players gives you the sequence: A 5 9 K 4 8 Q 3 7 J 2 6 10, and five players gives you the sequence: A 6 J 3 8 K 5 10 2 7 Q 4 9. You should either memorize these sequences, or be able to figure them out quickly in your mind, by counting as in step 2.

When you have to lie, choose the card that comes latest in the sequence. For example, there are four players, it's 9's to you, and you have only A's, 6's, and K's. what do you play? Well, look at the four-player sequence. K's are coming up on your next turn, so hold on to your kings. That way you can play them without having to lie. (See step 1). Neither 6's nor A's are coming up very soon, but 6's are coming a bit sooner, so you would be wisest to get rid of your A's. Who knows, by the time you get to 6's, you may be almost out of cards.

Okay, so you're going to play A's. How many? Well, it depends. You're claiming to be playing 9's, so try to remember where the 9's are. Especially if it's late in the game, chances are someone has all four of them. If so, it doesn't matter what you do, they'll call BS anyway, if they're still awake. So you're kind of screwed. If you're pretty sure that one person has two 9's and another has the other two, then you can play up to two non-9's. If someone has three 9's, you can play only one. This is only a guideline. Exactly how many you play will depend on several things, like whether your opponents call BS all the time, or very rarely, how big the pile in the middle is, how close you are to winning, etc.

If someone has just played their last card, you should call BS unless you're 100% sure they're telling the truth. Otherwise, you might be letting them win, when you could instead be forcing them to keep playing. NOTE:If your playing elimination style you may want to wait for another person to call it so it doesn't hurt you.

If you follow this strategy, hopefully you will BE the person laying down your last card. When everyone at the table simultaneously shouts "BS!" at you, be sure to have an arrogant smug look on your face as you turn the card over to show them that you've won.

If you have all four of a kind, try to slip in a fifth card that you won't need (see step 2). Plan this before your turn comes up. If you mess with your cards too much, people will suspect. Put your cards down in a clean stack, so no one can tell how many cards you've put down. Also, be sure to put the extra cards down underneath your four-of-a-kind; that way, if someone calls BS, you may be able to get away with just turning over the four legit cards. If you're still caught, exclaim that you made a mistake and you actually meant to put only four cards down. This trick can work with three-of-a-kind, or even with a pair, but the fewer cards you're claiming the more noticeable the extras will be.

If you know you're about to be dead, and the pile is large and messy, try to stick the card in between some other cards in the pile so that if someone BS's you and turns over the top card, you can proclaim that they messed up the order, and that your card's in there. Won't work if the other person has the specific card and knows for sure you are lying.

If you're playing with noobs, and one of them catches you, laugh and make a smug face while pushing the cards towards them. This works with seriously gullible people and they actually take the pile. But if you're caught no one will trust you again throughout the game.

Always keep your cards in a way so that other people can't tell how many cards you have. If they know you have less cards, they'll call cheat on you.

If the pile is big, and you have very little chance of getting away with a cheat, call cheat before your turn comes up on someone you think might be cheating. This way, if they are cheating, the pile is less for you, and if they are not, then you are still going to end up with the same amount of cards you would if you didn't call cheat/BS.

Maintain a constant expression throughout the game.

If you are playing with people new to the game, try this for the first few times: when the pile is big, and you have the right card, make a very tiny smile or some other suspicious expression when putting down your card. This will make the other people think you are cheating. WARNING: this only works if you have a serious expression throughout. Also, as with all tricks with this game, don't overdo it.

Always know what card you need next and if you have it. it's real easy to get called when you look at you're hand and let out a few words that even shock people playing bullshit.

If it is your turn to play a jack and you have a jack, you can play it and say, "One eleven, I mean jack." People will assume you are bluffing and that you accidentally forgot that jack comes after 10 and someone will most likely call BS on you. People will not fall for this twice so save it for the right time.