Effects of Cord Cutting on the Other Person
The effects of cord cutting on the other person can vary. A cord cutting ritual is primarily about releasing your own energetic attachments to someone when a relationship is no longer serving you. As a result, you’ll probably notice more effects than the other person will. However, since cord cutting rituals empower you to withdraw your energy from this person, they may be able to sense this shift. This can cause different emotional reactions, including: Confusion: The other person may have expected that you would always be there, no matter how unhealthy or toxic the relationship was. When you actually start to withdraw, they might feel disbelief or confusion at first. Loss or emptiness: Once they understand that you’re serious about ending your connection, they may start to grieve your presence in their life. They may also feel like there’s an empty space where your energy used to be. Relief or closure: After a period of time, the other person may start to feel a sense of liberation, especially if you were stuck in a toxic cycle with them before you cut ties. They might feel like you’re both being released from an unhealthy situation in order to get a fresh start.
What is cord cutting?
Cord cutting allows you to sever your energetic ties to someone. If you’re in an unhealthy or toxic relationship with someone, you may have an energetic “cord” keeping you tethered to them. The aim of a cord cutting ritual is to help you sever the tie between you and this person, so you can release your emotional attachments to this relationship, stop the energy flow between you, and finally move on. Many people perform cord cutting rituals to help them get over break-ups, but the rituals can also be performed when other types of relationships have ended. For example, a cord cutting ritual could be beneficial if you’re leaving a toxic job, ending an unhealthy friendship, or trying to break free from negative habits in your personal life.
How to Do a Cord Cutting Ritual
Gather the materials you’ll need. There are a few different ways you can cut cords with someone or something, but one of the most popular rituals involves tying together two candles (one to represent you and one to represent the other person) with a piece of string or twine, then lighting the candles. Here’s what you’ll need: Two candles: Black chime candles (shorter candles made for spells) are ideal if you can find them, since they represent protection and banish negative energies. If you can’t find them, white candles are a good alternative—they symbolize purity, cleansing, and new beginnings. Two candle holders: To hold your candles upright as they burn. Piece of thread or twine: To represent your energetic tie to this person. A tray (optional): To position your candles on.
Burn sage to cleanse the area you’re performing the ritual in. Burning a bundle of sage, also called smudging, clears out any negative energies and prepares your space for the cord cutting ritual. You can also use palo santo if you prefer, or simply open your window to let some fresh air in. Make sure to pick a quiet, peaceful, and distraction-free area to perform your ritual in.
Place your two candles about 10 inches (25 cm) apart from each other. Put each of your candles into their holders, then position them so there’s about 10 inches (25 cm) of space between them. Make sure your candles are on a fire-safe surface (table, counter, or tray) with nothing flammable like loose papers or fabrics around them. One of the candles represents you, and the other represents the person you’re cutting ties with. If you’d like, you can carve your name into one of the candles and the other person’s name in the other candle, but this is completely optional.
Tie your piece of twine or string around each candle. Position each tie part of the way down each candle, not too close to the bottom or top. Pull the candles apart a bit more to make sure the string is taut between them. The twine represents the energetic bond between you and this person, which you’ll be symbolically severing in your ritual.
Set your intention to sever your energetic bonds with this person. Before lighting your candles, take some deep breaths and focus on your intention of cutting ties and letting go of this person. Think about the ways this connection is draining your energy and the reasons it needs to end, while at the same time thanking the universe for the lessons the relationship taught you. Tell the universe you’re ready to release attachments to this person and move on.
Light your candles and speak your intention of cutting ties aloud. You can phrase this however makes the most sense to you, as long as you’re being clear that your intention is to sever ties. For example, you could say something like, “I release this person from my heart,” or “As the candles burn and the cord is severed, I cut all ties to this relationship that no longer serves me.” As your candles burn, the piece of string or twine will eventually catch fire and break the connection between the two candles. This represents the breaking of the energetic bond between you and the other person. Be sure to keep a close eye on your candles at all times while they’re lit to prevent any fire hazards, since they may spark as the flame reaches the string. Never leave your candles unattended. Once the string is severed, you can end your ritual, or you can wait until both candles have fully burned down.
Other Types of Cord Cutting Rituals
Cord cutting spell with one candle Candle magic can be a powerful tool when you’re hoping to let go of someone or something. This cord cutting spell can be performed with just one candle, and it’s a great alternative if you don’t want to perform the above ritual with two candles and twine. Here’s how to do it: Cleanse your space. Choose a quiet, peaceful location to perform your spell. To cleanse it, burn sage or palo santo or open a window to let in some fresh air. Set your intention. Think about your specific goal and condense it into one sentence. For example, “I cut ties with this person and release them from my heart,” or “With this spell, I sever my energetic bond to this relationship.” You can write this down to help you remember it, if you’d like. Dress your candle. This means rubbing an essential oil into the candle to prepare it for the spell. Since the intention of your ritual is to let go of something, rub the oil into the candle from the top downward. You can use any oil you like, but nutmeg and sesame oils are especially good for releasing spells. Light your candle and speak your intention out loud. As you do this, visualize your energetic cord to this person being cut. For example, you can picture the cord as an actual string, then imagine yourself cutting it with a pair of scissors. Snuff out the candle or let it burn out. At the end of your spell, don’t blow the candle out—this can blow away your intention. Instead, wait for the flame to extinguish on its own, or use a candle snuffer to put it out when you’re ready to conclude the ritual.
Cord cutting with just a string If you don’t want to use candles for your ritual, you can achieve the same effects with just a piece of string or twine and some scissors. Here’s how: Visualize the severing of your bond. Imagine that the string or twine represents your energetic connection, and focus on your intention of cutting this cord. You can even attach a photo of you to one end of the string and a photo of them to the other end, if this helps with your visualization. Cut the string in the middle with your scissors. This symbolically represents the severing of your energetic cord, so that you can both move on. End the ritual. Offer a few words of thanks to the universe for the lessons learned in the relationship, and dispose of the string.
Cord cutting meditation and visualization This option is entirely prop-free and only requires a quiet place for you to sit or lie down while you meditate. Find a quiet, peaceful place. You can also light some candles or burn some sage to cleanse the area before you start, if you’d like. Sit down and get into a meditative state. Breathe in and out deeply and slowly, focusing only on your breath. Try to empty your mind of other thoughts and distractions. Visualize cutting cords with this person. Once you’re in your meditative state, visualize the person you’re severing ties with. Imagine a string connecting you, representing the emotional and energetic cord that holds you together. Finally, visualize yourself using scissors to cut this cord. Verbalize your intention out loud or internally. Speak or think a sentence that encapsulates your intention, such as, “I release this attachment because it no longer serves my highest good.” End the ritual. When you feel ready, come out of your meditative state.
Cord cutting mantra A mantra is a word or statement you can repeat to focus your mind on a specific intention. Mantras can be powerful tools to help you sever cords with a person or relationship that’s energetically draining you. Start by coming up with a sentence that encompasses your intention to let go of this person, then repeat it as many times as you’d like. You can mentally recite your mantra while meditating, speak it out loud a few times each morning when you wake up, or simply repeat it throughout the day when you feel the need. Examples of cord cutting mantras: “I sever the energetic ties that no longer serve me.” “I release this person from my heart.” “I cut the cords that tether me to this relationship.” “I let go of the past and end my connection to this person.”
When to Perform a Cord Cutting Ritual
After a relationship has ended If you find yourself feeling unable to let go after the end of a romantic, platonic, or even professional relationship, a cord cutting ritual can help you release your attachments to the situation and move forward.
When you’re ready to cut ties with a toxic individual If there’s someone in your life who you have a toxic or unhealthy bond with and you’re finally ready to sever ties with them, a cord cutting ritual can be a great way to empower you to do this. For example, maybe you’ve been in an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with someone who just doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Or, maybe you have a friend who never seems to be happy for you when you succeed, cuts you down instead of lifting you up, and drains your energy without putting equal effort into the relationship. Keep in mind that cord cutting rituals are meant for fully letting go of someone and severing ties with them completely. They aren’t meant to be done when you’ve had a minor argument with someone.
When you want to let go of past experiences or negative habits Your cord cutting ritual doesn’t need to involve another person—it can be entirely focused on yourself. For example, if you’ve been holding on to difficult emotions from your past, such as bitterness, resentment, or disappointment, a cord cutting ceremony can help you break free from them. Or, if you feel stuck in negative habits, like criticizing yourself too much or indulging in things that aren’t good for you, cord cutting can help you sever your attachments to these behaviors.
FAQs about Cord Cutting
What color candle should you use for a cord cutting ritual? The best candle colors to use for cord cutting rituals are white and black. White candles represent purity, cleansing, and new beginnings, so they’re a great choice if you’re hoping to let go of someone in order to make space for a fresh start. Black candles, on the other hand, are powerful tools for banishing negative forces and protecting your energy, so they’re a good choice if you’re trying to cut cords with someone who you had a particularly dark or toxic relationship with. Chime candles, specifically, are ideal for spellwork and rituals. They’re a bit smaller than regular taper candles and burn more quickly.
Are there mental health benefits to doing a cord cutting ritual? Cord cutting rituals are not meant to be a substitute for mental health care, and you should absolutely seek out professional help from a licensed therapist or counselor if you’re experiencing negative mental health symptoms. However, cord cutting can be a helpful ritual in addition to mental health care for some people. In fact, research shows that ritual can help regulate emotions, shift attention away from negative events, break cycles of rumination, and help you focus on the future instead of the past. Visualization, which is an important aspect of cord cutting rituals, also has several positive effects. When you imagine yourself doing something and achieving the outcome you desire, it can help decrease stress and anxiety levels while promoting mental healing.
What should you do if you aren’t ready to cut ties completely? Cord cutting rituals have a certain finality to them. They’re meant to mark the end of your connection to someone and symbolize a permanent breaking of ties. If you just aren’t ready to fully let go of someone yet or you still think there’s a chance you’ll work things out, it may be best to hold off on your cord cutting ritual until you’re truly ready to move on.
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