Srinagar: Kashmiris have increasingly started turning to the world-wide web to find matches for their sons and daughters as traditional ways of arranging marriages have become a time-consuming and expensive affair.
Many Kashmiri men and women have registered themselves on matrimonial sites on the Internet after facing problems in finding a decent match using the good old traditional way of engaging a marriage broker.
"The best thing about matrimonial sites is that you have a wide range to choose from and the process is almost anonymous as nobody in your neighbourhood or relations knows about it," says a candid 27-year-old dentist Sanaa who has registered herself on one of the country's leading matchmaking sites.
Another reason for choosing the Internet, she says, is that the sites charge nominal fees when compared to marriage brokers in Kashmir, who have become a "huge liability" considering the expenses associated with marriages.
Sanaa's views are echoed by Neyaz Ahmad, a businessman from downtown Rainawari locality.
"Sometimes the marriage brokers are conmen. They come to your house, give you the biodata of a few prospective matches, take away some money and never show their face again," he rues.
"The Internet services and marriage bureaus which have recently come up in Kashmir are more genuine as there is little chance of getting duped by them," he says.
Ahmad talks from personal experience. It took five years to arrange his sister's marriage despite using the services of marriage brokers who cost him a "fortune".
"It is not just the money demanded by brokers. When you go to verify the antecedents of prospective matches, most of the times, you find an exaggeration in the details provided by the brokers," he says.
However, when it was Ahmad's turn to tie the knot, he used one of the matrimonial sites most frequently visited by Muslims.
"I met my wife on the net. She is from Mumbai and the wedding was solemnised within six months of our first chat in cyber space. The expenses were nominal and the marriage ceremony was a simple one," he says.
An increasing number of Kashmiris are using Internet services and marriage bureaus to avoid huge expenditure on traditional weddings.
"An average marriage in Kashmir today costs anywhere between Rs 5 and Rs 10 lakh and most of it is spent to please the guests. It is such a waste of money and the process is very slow," complains Tafazzul Hussain, who recently decided to go bride-hunting on the net.
However, marriage brokers differ, saying they are being unnecessarily blamed for problems associated with marriages.
"The people of Kashmir have become materialistic. Before getting married, they start calculating the combined monthly income of the household," argues Ghulam Mohammad Khan, a marriage broker who has been in the business for 30 years.
"Brokers are being blamed for being slow in finding matches. The fact is that society at large is responsible for it as they have a lot of expectations these days. Too much of television and an invasion of non-Kashmiri culture are responsible for changes in the people's mindset," he says.
(Names have been changed on request).
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