Masand: 'Anjaana Anjaani' is deathly boring
Masand: 'Anjaana Anjaani' is deathly boring
Ranbir Kapoor plays Akash, who's lost millions in the stock market crash and has a fat loan to pay off.

Cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra

Director: Siddharth Anand

Watching "Anjaani Anjaani" is the equivalent to having your foot run over by a speeding car - it's an unbelievably painful experience.

Directed by Siddharth Anand, this film stars Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra as two depressed New Yorkers who meet at a bridge they're both planning to jump off from. Ranbir plays Akash, who's lost millions in the stock market crash and has a fat loan to pay off. Priyanka is Kiara, who recently discovered her fiancé was cheating on her. Suicide they decide is the best option, but because they're basically a pair of morons, they can't seem to pull it off despite repeated attempts.

"Anjaana Anjaani" is a challenge to sit through for two reasons in particular - the film has no script to speak of, and the characters are hard to sympathize with. The director can't seem to decide if he's making a light-hearted romantic comedy or an epic love story, and as a result the actors can't seem to decide what tone to take. Priyanka Chopra goes from annoyingly bubbly to superficially soulful, and even the usually dependable Ranbir Kapoor struggles with a badly-defined role.

What "Anjaana Anjaani" lacks in terms of interesting plot and consistent characterization, director Siddharth Anand attempts to over-compensate with excesses like fancy foreign locations, stylishly shot songs, and trendy costumes. In this, "Anjaana Anjaani" evokes the memory of many bad films from the Yash Raj stable, at least three directed by Siddharth Anand himself.

There are few new ideas when it comes to romantic films - almost every premise has been exploited many times before - but such movies rely on distinctly original treatment to stand out from the crowd. "Anjaana Anjaani", unfortunately, is not only painfully predictable but also deathly boring. Akash and Kiara indulge in long exchanges that are so calculated and pointless, you fight to stay awake. There is no real passion to their romance, so you really couldn't care less if they get together in the end or not.

In the name of comedy, the film offers a string of regressive jokes like a suggestive striptease by Akash in a gay club, followed by a scene in which he's practically kidnapped by a male admirer. In another supposedly humorous sequence, Akash and Kiara go swimming in the ocean, and what follows are expected jokes about washed away boxer shorts and bursting bladders.

The film's second half in particular is a test of your endurance, packed as it is with a never-ending stream of songs. Almost every few minutes of dialogue is followed up by a musical interlude till you want to tear your hair out in frustration.

I'm going with one out of five for director Siddharth Anand's "Anjaana Anjaani". Ranbir and Priyanka spend the entire film trying to kill themselves. In the end, as you may have guessed, they decide against it. But there's a good chance you may want to.

Rating: 1 / 5

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